The Menace Of Identity Crisis-1
This is no doubt a very broad topic, but to put it in perspective, I want to give some definitions.
Identity is a trademark that gives a person, thing, or place the uniqueness that distinguishes it from others.
For example, a name is a form of identity. Colour, language, accent, size, social classifications, gender, and behavioural patterns are other forms of identity.
Certain identities are naturally given to us without our input, like gender, place of birth, nationality, name, and complexion, among others.
As natural as these things may seem, people still battle with identity crises starting from their names!
Let us start from there!
I have seen people change names over and over again based on their association, location, and the pressure to conform to trends or popular beliefs.
If you are familiar with Edo State, you will know that ‘Osayande’ is the most popular variant of my name. From the time I was old enough to spell my name, my father had told me that the correct spelling of my name based on our local dialect as the Esan-speaking part of Edo State was spelt ‘Oseyande’.
He instilled it in me to always correct anyone who misspelt it. You need to see the confidence with which I have been doing that from my days in primary school up till now.
He took his time to school me on the meaning of my name, and the correct spelling. He went further to tell me why I must wear that identity with dignity. Without any apologies, he told me why I didn’t need English names. And this has really helped me overcome any identity crisis as regards names.
My Pastor is another example. For over four decades, W. F. KUMUYI has been known simply as Pastor W. F. Kumuyi. While some of his contemporaries have added titles to titles, he has stayed put with his appellation as a Pastor. And that has neither diminished his status nor has it made those with big titles more successful than him.
Prophet in January, Pastor in February, Evangelist in March, Apostle in April, and Bishop in May is a symptom of an identity crisis.
That inner craving cannot be filled by multiple changes of names.
Paula in secondary school, Jennifer in the University, Tessy during National service, and Annabel when you got your first job, all because you don’t want to be known by your local name ‘Uhunnamure’.
Some will argue that the name is difficult for strangers to pronounce, or that it is too lengthy, or one flimsy excuse or the other. Deep down they know that they are only trying to hide the inferiority complex that the name gives them.
As parents, you must learn to make your kids feel proud of their names. The dissatisfaction with the names often comes from some parents. In some cases, the mother might be the one making the child shy of the name because she was never in support of the husband giving that child that particular name.
That child will grow up with that inadequacy in his or her mind, and immediately they come of age, the first task they do is to give themselves their own names. The basis for the new name will be on a shallow foundation, hence they will likely change the name twice or thrice before they become full-grown adults.
Dear parents, you have a big role to play in helping your kids win the battle against identity crisis.
Idede Oseyande
(C) April, 2024
